A friend took out a $7500 loan for her wedding. Okay, that was not too bad. It was workable and sounded pretty reasonable. Then, she asked her fiancé to take out a $25,000 loan. (She forced him by saying she’d leave him if he didn’t.)
He had much better credit and got the loan. Then, my friend begged his parents to pay for their honeymoon while they had no idea she had asked their son to take out a loan.
They thought her parents were paying for a modest outside wedding at a local garden, and she repeatedly lied to them until a few weeks before the wedding. She kept threatening to leave her fiancé if he didn’t do things as she wanted them done.
Anyway, his parents were so happy to pay for a cruise (a nice Alaskan cruise) for their honeymoon, but that wasn’t enough for her.
She then lied to her parents, saying that his parents were only giving them $250 for the honeymoon. Her parents were shocked as they were paying for the wedding and reception and thought the groom’s family would at least pay for some of the honeymoon.
They encouraged her to get a better job (she worked 20 hours a week as a receptionist at a nail salon) or to at least go full-time at her current job, but she flat-out refused, saying she had so much to do in planning for the wedding/honeymoon, etc. She was an absolute nightmare.
She and I hadn’t talked since high school (we weren’t very close, more like acquaintances), and she had gotten my number from a mutual friend to call and ask if I’d sing at her wedding.
During that phone call, she told me about everything that happened. She added that she wanted her fiancé to take off two and a half weeks instead of the nine days he’d already taken.
When she asked me what she should do about the honeymoon, I told her she was being a little unreasonable and very demanding with people.
I said it gently and kindly. I wasn’t just like, “Wow, you’re being the worst person ever right now, and your fiancé is really stupid to marry you for a lifetime.”
I said, “It seems like you’re putting a lot of pressure on everyone around you to do things your way and only your way. This is Evan’s wedding, too. Maybe ask him what he’d like. Planning this together instead of you alone can be much more fun. You guys will be together for a lifetime, so putting this much stress on everyone, yourself included, just makes things so much harder than they have to be.”
She was quiet for a few seconds, then said, “Uh, okay, I deserve this wedding, and Evan will give me what I want. I don’t want you to sing at the wedding. You’re so mean for telling me I don’t deserve a beautiful wedding!”
When I tried to explain that I thought she could have a gorgeous wedding, just with less stress and anxiety, she said, “You’re just like everyone else. You don’t want me to be happy! My dad keeps telling me to get a better job, and Evan fought to get the loan, and you saying this makes me want to give up!”
After that, she burst into hysterical tears and hung up. It was bizarre. She was like that in high school: very dramatic, mean, and selfish. However, I don’t remember her being that crazy and delusional. They got divorced 14 months after the wedding.
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